Hopeless Conversations: In session with Havoc!

An honest interview series around mental health and drag: Part 1 - Havoc!

Written and edited by: Maisie Long and Rosie Collingwood

So. Who is Havoc?

We caught up with them to find out more. HAVOC has been in the drag community for 6 months now, and described themselves as alternative drag incorporating elements of horror and surprise.

HAVOC, real name Sam, tends to go for alternative music but has been known to throw in the odd camp tune!

Colourful hair, confetti and fake blood usually make an appearance in HAVOC performances. As yet undecided what their forte is, HAVOC's Instagram bio says 'drag something'... Queen, King or Ghoul... maybe a little touch of each!

Mental health in the drag industry

Behind the confetti - covered, colourful

persona lays somebody quite different - Sam. Sam, who is non binary, works with children with additional needs. They are also currently planning their wedding, very exciting! Sam's passions are theatre, drag shows, gaming and tattoos.

They love spending time with their pets, and listening to their favourite musician, P!nk.

Of course in this interview series we want to focus on mental health alongside drag, and for Sam this is also an important focus. Despite the stage persona that is all about pouring blood over themselves and jumping around without an apparent care in the world, Sam is actually a very anxious person. They have suffered with anxiety throughout life and describe themselves as introverted and shy. Sam has wanted to venture into the world of live drag performances since 2014 when they first started watching RuPaul's Drag Race, noticing Adore Delano and seeing drag in a new light! It was from that moment on that HAVOC was born - exploring different aspects of drag and looking into the alternative side, despite a lack of confidence.

Havoc's Drag story

It was last year that HAVOC first took the plunge into the world of live drag, deciding that it was time to stop telling themselves that they were too old, or too big... it was finally time to give it a go! With the mantra of "don't overthink it", as well as reminders that they are enough, special and deserving of taking up space in the world (yes you are!!!) throughout each live performance preventing Sam from fear of people watching and judging, the anxiety has been kept under control allowing HAVOC to fully thrive on stage. Alongside the pep talks, something else that supports Sam with their anxiety is to get outside and get grounded with some big, deep breaths. We all look back at our younger selves and wish we could reach out to them and give them a hug, letting them know that everything will be alright in the end. Sam's advice for their younger self would be to ignore inner voices that say you can't do something, to listen to your heart instead and don't let anybody put out your unique spark. We think everyone could take on this advice! Another beautiful piece of advice Sam would gift their inner child is to immerse themselves in the queer community, because that is exactly where they would go on to find their people.

Sam is inspired by The Boulet Brothers, particularly when they were on tour with Dahli, which became a pivotal moment in HAVOC's drag journey. Seeing Dahli and the other ghouls up on stage living out their twisted imaginations ignited something in Sam, and became another moment along their drag timeline that showed them they absolutely can follow their passions and dive into the drag world. Alongside Dahli, Sam lists their inspirations as the ghouls on The Boulet Brothers Dragula, especially Bitch Pudding and Victoria Elizabeth Black, as well as Drag Race queens including Gottmik, Charity Kase, Onyx, Adore Delano, Jimbo and Kaos. Outside of the drag scene, inspirations include horror movies, Rockstar, Sam's friends and local performers. Musicians that inspire Sam include P!nk, Gaga, Demi Lovato, Gwen Stefani and Billie Eilish. With queer culture and comedy also on the inspiration list, HAVOC's drag persona is inspired and influenced by an incredible, eclectic mix.

Quick fire time!

Favourite scary movie?

Nightmare on Elm Street

Favourite quote?

"I look spooky but I'm really nice" - Sharon Needles

"Time to crash the cis-tem" -Gottmik

First drag performance?

I first performed at The Anxious Pickle Halloween show, it was like the stars aligned! I did my first bit of drag makeup and then I see the Anxious Pickle Club post an Insta story looking for performers, messaged them but was very much like 'I'm not ready, I don't even have a wig!' but they wanted me to go meet with them and they've been the biggest support I could have ever asked for. Emma and Frazer have been so encouraging and supportive. I couldn't have done it without them.

Next Show?

Come see me and the other pickles at the Anxious Pickle 1 year Birthday Show on April 29th in Dover.

It's going to be a riot

Lastly, you need to know where you can find HAVOC on the socials! Insta is @Timehavoc & TikTok is @Time4HavOc

Photography by: Stephen Daly for Anxious Pickle Club

If you or anyone you know is struggling mentally please don't suffer alone and reach out for help.

hopelessdolls.com/needhelp